Me: *play video games*
Me: *buys video games*
Me: *eats videos games*
Me: *showers in video games*
Me: *sleeps to video game soundtracks*
Me: *bleeds video games*

hanari-502:

recentgooglesearches:

does god poop

I’d say yes considering how many pieces of shit human beings exist

jaclcfrost:

[gently rests hand on character’s cheek] i love you but you’re such an ass

fearwakes-me-up:

ellierose101:

striderkid:

dokidoki-artichokee:

hamburgurl:

1 universe, 9 planets, 7 seas, 7 continents, 809 islands, 204 countries, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting u

THERE ARE 8 PLANETS, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE.

VIVA LA PLUTO FUCK YOU

I’m pretty sure “Viva la Pluto fuck you” is the best sentence I’ve heard all week. 

image

(Source: hashtaglmao)

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

bussykiller:

precumming:

what if you got a dollar for everytime you masturbated 

image

(Source: precumming)

artichokehold:

cows write about their secrets in a dairy